Husbands
Date Night
February/04/2010 10:23 AM
Date Night
By Nicole Hanratty
When it comes to date night, I feel just like the kid in Sixteen Candles whose parents are pushing him into the high school dance as he’s resisting, “I wanna go home. I wanna be with you guys!” Only in our scenario, it’s the kids pushing us out the front door because the babysitter is way more fun, as is our house without Mom and Dad. But it is the one night of the week when my husband and I know we get to walk away from the house, leave our concerns behind—hypothetically—and enjoy an adult dinner at a nice restaurant (sans the overpriced penne pasta with butter).
Ironically, dining alone seems to produce record speed service in even the finest of dining establishments. The beverages, bread and appetizer seem to appear within minutes of us being seated and the waiter stands eager by our tableside to take our entrée order. If we bring children to the same restaurant, it could be twenty minutes before we see a morsel of bread or a sip of water, which produces grumpy, hungry and restless kids. Likely the entire ordeal will take a full two hours—I have always postured that they must have to run to the market and buy the mac n’ cheese to make for the kiddies—with us paying $25.00 per bowl of cheesy noodles and wishing we had just gone to CPK which the kids were begging for in the first place. However when the hubby and I show up alone ready to relax and enjoy a fully pampered three-course two-hour meal, we are in and out in fifty-five minutes flat. Read More...
By Nicole Hanratty
When it comes to date night, I feel just like the kid in Sixteen Candles whose parents are pushing him into the high school dance as he’s resisting, “I wanna go home. I wanna be with you guys!” Only in our scenario, it’s the kids pushing us out the front door because the babysitter is way more fun, as is our house without Mom and Dad. But it is the one night of the week when my husband and I know we get to walk away from the house, leave our concerns behind—hypothetically—and enjoy an adult dinner at a nice restaurant (sans the overpriced penne pasta with butter).
Ironically, dining alone seems to produce record speed service in even the finest of dining establishments. The beverages, bread and appetizer seem to appear within minutes of us being seated and the waiter stands eager by our tableside to take our entrée order. If we bring children to the same restaurant, it could be twenty minutes before we see a morsel of bread or a sip of water, which produces grumpy, hungry and restless kids. Likely the entire ordeal will take a full two hours—I have always postured that they must have to run to the market and buy the mac n’ cheese to make for the kiddies—with us paying $25.00 per bowl of cheesy noodles and wishing we had just gone to CPK which the kids were begging for in the first place. However when the hubby and I show up alone ready to relax and enjoy a fully pampered three-course two-hour meal, we are in and out in fifty-five minutes flat. Read More...
Histerectomy
October/27/2009 09:03 PM
Written by Diane Bittiker
Edited by Nicole Hanratty
Hysterectomy: removal of part or all of the uterus. Derived from the Greek word hystera (womb) with the former notion being that hysterical women were suffering from disturbances of the womb. (Hence removing the uterus was believed to relieve a woman's hysterical behavior.)
The ancient Greeks may have been masters at throwing the javelin, but when it comes to trying to pinpoint the cause of a woman's hysteria they were way off the mark.
Having just had a hysterectomy--I can tell you first hand--my hysteria is still going strong drumming right along side the Duracell bunny. If hysteria was supposed to be removed with my womb then my doctor didn't get the memo.
My hysterical condition was diagnosed a few months back. My physician said my uterus had seen its' days and I would be better off without the old plumbing.
Telling my darling husband (here on referred to as DH*) went well, (I suppose), if you consider "Isn't that an ol' lady surgery" a positive response. He is very funny that sweet man, maybe even hysterical. Read More...
Request Responses
October/05/2009 01:39 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
Over the years, I have learned that a wife and mother's job description really knows no boundaries. Whether it is wiping tushies, refilling kleenex boxes, cleaning up trails of vomit, making costumes, baking cookies, selling raffle tickets, purchasing gifts for random strangers or driving from here to Chicago in search of the right sport shoes, there seems to be no limit of what my loved ones will request of me after they spout the word "Honey" or "Mom."
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change hearing these terms of endearment for anything else in the world. It is the dragged out slow question forming ending to the word "Honey" and "Mom" that gives me pause. Here it comes, what will they ask of me next? Read More...
Buzzwords at Home
April/09/2009 02:31 PM
The Time report on the Top Ten Buzz Words for 2008 got me thinking about how these popularized words are impacting my life now in 2009.
10. Topless Meeting
While no one has asked me to turn my phone off in a brainstorming meeting, my husband has strict rules for date night. I am not allowed to text, email, google or twitter, much less take a call. And while I would like to bring my laptop along for quick access to movie times and reviews, restaurant suggestions, access to information that would settle our debate of the evening, and maybe sneak in a blog post while he is paying the bill, my computer is not allowed along either. Some might call this Topless Dating.
9. Tweet
Twitter is at my fingertips 24-7 with my favorite Tweetie iphone app. I can’t leave home or climb in bed without it. My favorite function of Tweetie is the Nearby feature. I love to see who is Tweeting in my neighborhood. Just one year ago, I wouldn’t have even known what the Tweet was going on. Read More...
Counter Gifts
April/01/2009 01:18 PM
By Nicole Hanratty
Gifts often appear on my kitchen counter quite fortuitously. Within the last few days I have come home to find a lovely wine bottle holder hand carved from Hawaii with a sweet "Thank You" note from an employee and an electric wine opener from my in-laws. My husband brought both of these gifts home with the pride of a hunter displaying his game and placed them in my domain--the kitchen--as if presenting them to his master. Sweet isn't it?
Except, I'm not sure my hubby is so much honoring me with these counter gifts as he is passing along their inherent formalities. How so, you ask? Properly receiving gifts is not an effortless task. I should know. No matter what the occasion or for which member of the family any gifts are intended, they all wind up on my kitchen counter for de-boxing, assembling, package recycling, washing--you do wash new clothing before wearing I hope--acknowledging, and permanent placing in such a manner that when the gift giver visits our home he or she sees that their present has been duly appreciated. Read More...
"How To" Refill the Soap Dispenser
March/30/2009 06:36 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
It's tricky, I know. You actually have to pull the top off of the soap dispenser to squirt more liquid inside. It takes a bit of effort but the rewards are spectacular! Once you replace the lid--Voila!--one press produces enough soap to wash a sink full of dishes.
Just follow three easy steps: 1) Remove top. 2) Pour more soap inside the container--we keep the refill bottle under the kitchen sink--and leave an inch or so of space on top. 3) Slide the pump back inside. Read More...
Fated Nursemaid
January/26/2009 12:54 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
Before 8 am my fate was clear. With both husband and child home sick, it was evident I would spend the day playing nursemaid.
By midnight last night, with coughing echoing throughout every corner of my house, I knew that my Monday morning routine would never see daylight. My usual route which runs like clockwork every week, (two plus grocery stores, the car wash, the drug store, the dry cleaner, the gas station, the bank, and Coffee Bean), was cancelled. Call my vendors, I’m a no-show today. Read More...
The Tool Rule
October/27/2008 04:59 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
I was alone. I was handling it. It was all going perfect until...my husband came home.
The dog needed a little rug to lie on outside in the back yard while she sunbathes during the day. I found a scrap of new carpeting in the garage to place outside the door and was in the midst of cutting it down to her little size. Read More...
Bernanke On Main Street
October/01/2008 02:50 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
Last Sunday, in an unpredictable turn of events, a Main Street Mom--inspired by none other than Ben Bernanke himself--took over the Command Control Remote in an historic move to seize the malfunctioning operating system and restore a sense of confidence in its ability to proceed fairly.
The acquired asset catapulted her into the position of “Couch Commander,” and there was nothing anyone--not even the House of Representatives--could do to salvage the situation or bail Main Street out of this crisis. Read More...
Sensor Wife
September/05/2008 02:31 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
Welcome to my morning.
As my husband and I stand in line one after the other waiting to fill our own coffee cups with fresh pressed coffee from my favorite appliance in the house, (our Miele cup by cup coffee maker that turns out six different flavors--decaf and regular--cappuccinos and espressos), I turned the dial to make my own personally programmed favorite cup of coffee.
My husband stands behind me, empty mug in hand, and asks, “Is the coffee maker actually still programmed for all of the different types of coffee capsules that are in it?”
“Of course,” Miss Organized informs. Read More...
Absence Makes the Heart Grow More Appreciative
July/28/2008 01:57 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
There is one sure way to make your husband appreciate you ladies... Leave the house for a month and clear out your refrigerator before you say au revoir!
Yes, I did do that and yes it did prove my point.
I would like to send a special thanks to my mom and my mother-in-law for offering to do my husband’s laundry for him and prepare him meals. (Aren’t we girls supposed to stick together?) Read More...
Promotion At Work
June/23/2008 01:42 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
Dear all of my Rock Star friends,
I have such exciting news and I want to share it with all of my readers first! Rest assured that you are the first to read it, hear it and know it...
Yours truly has received a promotion! I am now and here forward the President of Household Operations of the Hanratty Residence! Read More...
Bedtime Routines
May/15/2008 12:43 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
Ah, bedtime routines. They're not just for newborns...we all have them. In fact, through adulthood, many of us rely upon them to fall asleep and some of us simply can't operate without them.
In my house, I believe that our bedtime routines are so vital that they actually directly affect the cosmic pull of the earth's rotation. I am so superstitious about all of these Ground Hog Day things happening over and over again that I wait for them, watch for them and then, BAM! When they happen, I check them off my list one by one and am slowly reassured that all is right with the world... Read More...
Did You Get the Hash Browns?
February/05/2008 03:49 PM
by Nicole Hanratty
It’s seven a.m. My day started two hours ago. (Self-imposed; no need for violins.) But any minute now, my adorable husband will return home from the gym, open the refrigerator and ask me, “Did you get the hash browns yet?” I will have to reply, “No.”
Yes, it is true; we have been out of them for over a week. But I have not been to the Hash Brown Market in over a week. (Fever, flu, strep throat- but really, no excuses please!) His sad face will make me feel guilty as if I don’t do anything else during the day and I really have no valid reason for not providing him with his beloved hash browns.
But this is really just the tip of the iceberg. My shortcomings fall so much greater than this.
Here is a list of other things I have not yet done: Read More...
